I want to help you get your evenings back, even in the weeks when the hours aren't yours to control.
At a dinner last week (one that I was really looking forward to!), I found myself nodding along while drafting an email in my head and thinking about all the work I still had to do. Me, who prides herself on being present in the moment.
A new study from the ABA and Krill Strategies surveyed about 37,000 lawyers - the biggest look at our mental health in ten years. One finding that got my attention: Burnout levels climb right alongside the hours worked.
THE PROBLEM
Among lawyers working 31 to 40 hours a week, 39.9% screened high for burnout. Among lawyers working 71 hours or more, it was 69.5%.
Here's the part that totally hits home. More than a third of the lawyers in that study (35.9%) reported high work-family conflict, and when that conflict showed up alongside burnout, stress risk went up even further. So the place that's supposed to help you recover is the place you can't recover in. You walk in the door still carrying the call, the deadline, and the email you haven't answered, while the people you love get whatever’s left.
Most of us can't cut our hours in half this week. What you can change is the few minutes between the last task and the rest of your life.
WHY THIS WORKS
Did you know your brain keeps unfinished tasks running in the background? Psychologists have studied this for almost a hundred years. An open loop keeps tugging at your attention until you close it. The good news is that you don't have to finish the task to quiet it. Researchers at Wake Forest and Florida State found that simply writing a specific plan for an unfinished goal reduced the intrusive thoughts about it.
Recovery researchers have a name for what we're after: psychological detachment. It means mentally leaving work when you leave work, and it's one of the strongest predictors of how rested you feel the next day. You don't need a long vacation to get it. You need a clear signal to your nervous system that the workday is over, and small daily signals count.
THREE THINGS TO TRY THIS WEEK
Write Tomorrow's First Line. Before you close the laptop, write down the very first thing you'll do tomorrow morning, as specifically as you can. "Call opposing counsel about the protective order" works better than "deal with the case." Your brain can let go of it because it knows where to find it.
One Unbilled Unit. We live in six-minute increments. At the end of the day, give yourself one unit that belongs to no one. Sit back, put your feet on the floor, and breathe in for four and out for six. If your mind drifts back to work, notice it and come back to the breath.
The Off-Switch Sentence. Pick one short sentence that means you're done for the day, like "Work is finished for today" or "The rest can wait." Say it silently as you close the laptop or set your phone face down. A lot of us use a glass of wine as the off switch. This gives you something different you can use every night.
THE TAKEAWAY
The hours are real, and some weeks there’s nothing you can do about it. You still get to choose how the day ends. A clear cue, even a small one, tells your body it's safe to stop working, so you can be present for the life you're working this hard to build.
THIS WEEK'S RECESS
Tonight, before you shut the laptop, write tomorrow's first line and say something intentional you want for tonight (like, “I will be present at dinner tonight.”). Then notice whether dinner feels any different.